beautiful darkness.

Here are the things that I'll say, without saying anything at all (because it's easier for me that way). There are some darknesses we carry with us always. There are just a few things that weigh so heavy on my heart. And while the process of digging myself out of those holes is as beautiful as you can imagine, the truth is I'll always, always carry that weight. In the last few weeks we made choices we can't take back, and I'm not so sure that I can ever...I'm not sure if forgive is eve the word. Right now there are none. I don't know how to say how I feel. I'm not ready, I wasn't ready, and I feel alone in it all (though that is mostly by choice). That's the simplest I can make it.