Monday, June 5, 2017

#MondayMantra



learn to let things go, babe.  learn to wear happiness on your shoulder, on your face, in your eyes.  laugh lines are reminders of great times, with great people.  be safe, protect your heart, but don't forget to live a little.  dance with a stranger because you can't stop moving to the beat.  let your best friend set up a blind date at the dog park for you because you guys will laugh about it at a later (more sober) time.  go on said date if you're feeling brave enough.  stop sweating the small stuff!  life finds a way to come full circle.

and let that fire in your belly, that joie de vivre, that passion, grow a little hotter when the people who see you the most often (your sisters, your parents, your best friend) tell you that you seem happier now than you did a year, or two years ago.  you just gotta let the hurt heal, and bring the fun, love.  you won't regret it.

have a fun week, y'all!

[apologies for my hiatus last week.  we passed a stomach bug around my house, and i was down for the count for 48 hours.  my poor body still doesn't know what to do with itself, so hopefully the gym tonight will get me back on track!]

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

the lady.



she is gentle, but holds storms within her.
she is wild, bundled up in grace.
her heart is sometimes gray,
but her soul paints every color of the rainbow.

#MondayMantra



the greatest way to memorialize the brave souls who have made the ultimate sacrifice protecting our freedom and safety is to live courageously, every day.  to appreciate our freedom, and live up to that classic phrase from our declaration of independence, "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."  

Friday, May 26, 2017

fri-yay!!!

a little flashback friday action from the last time my sisters and i went to a missions game last season.

i am so grateful to my parents for raising me to be kind and openminded and compassionate.  over the last few years i have been appalled by the kinds of responses and incivility displayed by complete strangers when something terrible happens.  this past week we cried for manchester, and the loss of so many lives at the hands of a insane coward.  and as the city of manchester, the survivors, and the families of the victims mourn, the scum of our species are sitting behind their computer screens making this terrorist attack about politics, and religion, and they are using hate speech, and racism, and prejudice to do it.  i've never been able to wrap my brain around what makes people think they are better than other people because of the color of their skin, or where they went to university, or what they choose to believe in.  my parents taught us to be respectful of others opinions, to appreciate life, and to understand that we don't have all the answers, that we can't possibly know what other people are going through, and to be generous when we can.  so it breaks my heart that the world we live in now is rampant with hatred, and bullying, and just plain ugliness.  i hope that one day, when i have kids, i'm able to guide them with love and respect, as my parents did, because i really worry sometimes about what their life experiences will be.

i know that usually i don't talk about these things, and i toe the line of my life is either super awesome and i'm doing so many cool, new things, or i write about my heartbreak.  but the truth is that i think about racism, prejudice, bullying, and hate often, because i encounter it every day online.  this is where we spend most of our time.  this is where we have started to live our lives.  and the internet makes it so easy to be whoever we want to be, whenever we want to be, wherever we want to be.  i just wish we used it more for good, like when we do the "big give" in our communities, or when we learn about cultures across the world and completely different from our own, and we appreciate them.

in other news, i am going to spend this long weekend paying my respects in celebration of memorial day, and getting more rest, working on some projects (hopefully), and maybe getting in a little fun-in-the-sun.

peak of the week:  the missions game last night with my sisters and some friends was everything i needed this week and didn't even realize it until this morning when i woke exhausted, but in the best mood.

it's the pits:  see above.

if you are in the san antonio area, feel free to join us at heroes stadium tomorrow morning for the 16th annual 5k in memory of our community's fallen police officers and firefighters.  the proceeds from the run benefit the 100 club, which provides assistance to the families of the fallen officers, including education assistance for their children.  my family and i run the 5k every year, and this year i'll be volunteering with my dad at the registration table.  it's truly an honor to be a part of this event, and i really hope i see a bunch of familiar faces there (hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, friends).

have a lovely holiday weekend, babes.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

excerpts from a book i'll never write - twelve.

these are the fears i feed myself:

that your "sure" or "you can come if you want" are his "i don't know yet" [when talking about hanging out].

that i am too much.  too much hope, too much love, too much anxiety.  too enough.

that i am not enough.  too quiet.  too inside my head.  too old.  not round enough.  a girl who has never been perky.

that i'll scare you off if i let you in, or i'll push you away if i don't.  ever a failure.  ever a disappointment.

that i'll say too much on a drunken night.  or hold back too much on a sober one.

that there will always be a monster lurking under the bed, with long legs and long hair, the scent of fresh cut grass on her skin.

Monday, May 22, 2017

#MondayMantra



i am tired.  physically, emotionally, mentally drained.  but each new day brings me closer to where i'd like to be, and i can only get there if i rise, and rise again, day after exhausting day.

the journey feels like an endless battle against what we "have" to do, versus what we "want" to do.  but, remember, the best things in life never come easy.  don't be discouraged because you take a few steps back, these things happen.  just breathe, and keep moving forward.  power through those "have-tos" so you can get to the "want-tos".

have a powerful week, loves.  :)

Friday, May 19, 2017

fri-yay!!!

flashback from last year's birthday celebrations at edc in las vegas.

i cannot believe my thirty-first birthday is in less than a month.  time really does fly, doesn't it?  i think i'm going to lay low until then.  put my head down and focus on my paralegal studies (oh, didn't i tell y'all?  melissa and i are doing the paralegal certification courses at our alma mater!), work on the business with my sisters, get some running and working out in, and tryyyyy to work on some stuff for the blog.  i seriously need to focus.  my head has been in the clouds, a lot lately, and i feel like i have so much to do.  i know by the time we get to the beach for my birthday weekend, i'm going to be ready to relax and celebrate!

peak of the week:  finally made it out to tucker's on a thursday night to try their wings.  we were not disappointed.  if you ever decide to give it a try, go for the southern wings.  they were amazing!

it's the pits:  today my heart hangs heavy for my city and the family, friends, and fellow firefighters of the safd firefighter who lost his life last night in the line of duty.  nothing "pit"-like in my life compares.  please keep him and his loved ones in your thoughts.

i took a lot of down time this week, to talk some things out with melissa, and try to recover from the last few crazy busy weeks.  i do have a lot going on, but i'm also trying to make a conscious effort to appreciate my time.  i mentioned last week how i've been saying 'yes' to things that i might not have agreed to in the past, and it's all because i'm really trying to move forward and create a greater distance between me and the things i experienced in my twenties.  yes, there are things that i would not have had in my life (like my love affair with new orleans) had i not experienced those things, but it's time for new memories, and happiness and, hopefully, one day, love.

have a happy weekend, y'all!

xoCandice