it's like an awakening.
"oh, there i am, i almost forgot. i love sunday drives, exploring new places. saturday night concerts and running into old friends. friday nights spent outdoors, stargazing and pensive quiet."
you realize there's a man out there who would beg to spend those moments with you, but he won't have to, because he'll be your best friend. you realize that you could've been doing these things with the ladies in your life who are your actual soulmates, the people you neglected for someone who didn't appreciate you, as you are.
you learn to love your messy bits. the way your hair never falls just right, wisps everywhere. how you always choose the hard way, following your heart, because you're every single bit stubborn that you could possibly be. hard-headed, not hard-hearted. and you have to prove yourself, to yourself. all the time.
and you're finally free, glad to be released from always trying to be perfect. a place you put yourself, to make him love you. thirty years old, and you're just now figuring it out. he was never meant to love you. not the you that you yourself love. and you are 100% in love with that person.
so go be her. unapologetically be that woman, that sister, that friend, that lover. wild & gypsy & just a tiny bit reckless.