it's not right, but it's ok.

i feel utterly and incomprehensibly betrayed.  his actions and excuses have left me feeling empty and alone.  abandoned by my best friend and the love of my life.  i dreamt of having a family with him.  not only did i lose my best friend and love, but also what i had planned for my future.

without going into too much detail, i'll say this...ernest and i are over.  we're done and we've gone to a place i don't believe we can ever come back from.  his was the ultimate betrayal and i am so angry not only with him, but also at myself for being so trusting.

i don't know if my pain matches my anger, but i know both are immense.  i'm not going to bounce back from this anytime soon, but i am trying to maintain some decorum and remain as strong of woman as i can be.  i have an amazing support system, from my parents, sisters and other family members, to my bestest girl friends and their wonderful partners.  i have so many fun trips planned over the next year or so, so i'm just going to try to take it one day at a time.  that's all i can do.

thanks for being so understanding, and i'm sorry if my posts become more sporadic.