what i'm reading.

do you remember what it was like to be 17 years old and in love?  i had almost forgotten, but then i read the fault in our stars by john green.  it reminded me of how real and deep it felt.  i fell in love at 17 with a boy who was interesting and exciting and slightly dangerous.  he broke my heart just a few short months later.  but i carried that love with me for years afterwards, and to this day i believe it was true, even if it wasn't the same the second time around.

people tell you you're too young at 17 to know what love is.  but that's not true, is it?  at 17 you look at the world with fresh, innocent, unencumbered eyes.  there's no cynicism in your heart and soul.  you don't over-think every look, touch, word, feeling.

that was this novel.  granted, there was reason for putting up a wall.  impending demise does that to you, i suppose.  but i have never wanted anything more in life than the feelings that were written between these two characters.  i have never wanted anything more than a man who could understand my nuances, and love me still, and love me hard.  i don't want to second-guess that kind of love.  i suspect when it happens, i won't.

if you read nothing else, read this book.  it will push you to the brink of pain and suffering, and it will change the way you think about love.  keep a box of kleenex handy.  and try to remember that first love.