Wednesday, June 25, 2014


i refuse to sink.

i have felt like i am drowning the last few weeks.  too much is going on in my life at once.  yes, i am hurting.  i am hurting like i hurt before when the one person i thought would never hurt me, gutted me to my core and flung the broken pieces around like they were toys.  just toys a toddler throws around and leaves for someone else to pick up.

but f*ck that.

no, seriously.  f*ck it.

the person i have felt like the last few weeks, is not who i am.  i am not weak.  i am not insecure.  i am not hateful, or angry, or selfish.  i don't need someone to save me.  i don't need someone to put the pieces back together for me.

i didn't work hard the last year to be back where i started.  i will run 3 miles every day if that's what it takes.  i will bust my ass at boot camp.  i will study myself to sleep.  i'll watch every one of my favorite shows until i pass out with riley at my side.  i will fight to be that strong, independent person i used to be.

and i will not be ashamed of who i am.  i am emotional.  i am happy.  i am sad.  i am angry.  i am scared.  i feel everything with all of my heart, not just pieces of it.  i give all i have because why would anyone want anything less?

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