Wednesday, June 25, 2014
i refuse to sink.
i have felt like i am drowning the last few weeks. too much is going on in my life at once. yes, i am hurting. i am hurting like i hurt before when the one person i thought would never hurt me, gutted me to my core and flung the broken pieces around like they were toys. just toys a toddler throws around and leaves for someone else to pick up.
but f*ck that.
no, seriously. f*ck it.
the person i have felt like the last few weeks, is not who i am. i am not weak. i am not insecure. i am not hateful, or angry, or selfish. i don't need someone to save me. i don't need someone to put the pieces back together for me.
i didn't work hard the last year to be back where i started. i will run 3 miles every day if that's what it takes. i will bust my ass at boot camp. i will study myself to sleep. i'll watch every one of my favorite shows until i pass out with riley at my side. i will fight to be that strong, independent person i used to be.
and i will not be ashamed of who i am. i am emotional. i am happy. i am sad. i am angry. i am scared. i feel everything with all of my heart, not just pieces of it. i give all i have because why would anyone want anything less?