Tuesday, May 6, 2014

ever better.

time (and sister love) heals all things.

almost one year ago exactly, i began a new chapter in my life.  it's been a bumpy ride, but i've learned so much and am continuously astounded by my own strength, and the love i have in my life.

though i have struggled the past few years, in so many ways, i really feel as though i have gotten stronger.  i remember how scared i was, how i walked on eggshells, how i let myself think i was a failure.  i'm not that person anymore.  that doesn't mean that there aren't scars, but i try to do my best letting them heal.

i do the things that make me happy these days.  running, working out.  getting dressed up.  i don't hesitate when a friend asks to hang out.  i finally started seeing a nice guy.  i discovered my body - i have slight curves, and strong legs.  i started reading again, started writing more often.  drive around with the windows down, even on the hottest of days (at least for a few minutes).  i am living a good life, an enchanted life, and it's healed me in ways i didn't think possible.

i feel smarter, lighter, prettier, sassier these days.  i'm trying to embrace the beauty in life.  i am not a victim.  i'm a woman whose heart was broken, by a boy who couldn't keep his promises, and who reacted to stress by making me feel smaller than him.  but i do not believe that there isn't a love story out there for me.  i do not for a second think that there isn't anything i am not capable of.

i am not a doormat anymore, but i'm not harder either.  i haven't changed, i've only grown better.

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