Tuesday, October 8, 2013

whole again.

i am closer every day to being a whole person.

i discover little things about myself, let them ruminate in my mind and imagination for a while.  release them, like little clues or secrets, to other people. 

feeling better about myself, about my situation, about my broken heart, has taken quite some time, and quite a toll, on me.  and though my heart is healing, and my sight is set on changing my situation, the fact remains that i still have a lot of work to do.

i'm proud of myself for the steps i took today, to get a little father along in my healing process.  i'm proud to say that i no longer miss him, or need him, to feel better.  i have been searching for ways to perk myself up, instead of reaching for that safety blanket.

looking at every day as a journey that has yet to be embarked upon, i'm learning to open up, and i'm learning how much i hold myself back when i don't.  i found myself in a situation this past weekend, where i could feel the regret of words unsaid and actions undone hanging over my head.  i don't want to be that person.  there is an adventurous spirit in my heart, and i want to live up to it in every way possible.

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