Thursday, October 10, 2013

the one that got away.

what i said:

"i had a great time last night, and totally want to hear about your adventures, so here's my info, keep in touch if you want."

what i should have said:

"i went upstairs last night, and didn't say good night.  i let our conversation end on the bus, when i wanted to and should have let it carry on into the night.  i didn't for half a second believe that you were being anything more than friendly, but i wish that i would have gone for it anyway.  i was a chicken last night, and so i want to make up for it now.  we don't live anywhere near each other, and you're leaving the country for an indeterminate time, but i have to do this.  you may not be on the same wavelength as me, but just in case, here's my email address.  even if this goes nowhere, even if it's just an email here and there, i'd like to keep in touch.  i'd like to keep talking and learning about you.  i want to hear all about your adventures overseas.  so email me.  if you want to."

a lesson learned that we don't get do-overs.  and regrets really do haunt you.  and even if you think he's not interested, or you know it's not going to go anywhere, if you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that feels like a mixture of butterflies and adventure, go for it.  because you'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

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