Wednesday, April 3, 2013

don't mistake my silence for weakness.

lately i've been feeling as though my sisters might need a little oldest sister guidance.  i very seldomly attempt to pass on wisdom to my sisters because i love them, but we don't talk about seriously things very often.  mostly because in the past few years i feel as though they have been at those ages where you think you know everything (we've all been there, no?), and i've been at a place in my life where i feel like i know nothing.

see, that's the thing about life, you think you have it figured out, and boom, you watch the car behind you ram into your car.  or maybe you don't see it coming at all.  it just hits you without warning.  you can never know what the future brings.  you can plan, and work towards your hopes and dreams, but there will always be a wild card.  there will always be that thing you didn't plan on that brings you to your knees and has you begging for a break.

i saw it happen to my family when i was in high school.  not once, but multiple times.  the phone calls letting us know family members had been taken from us too soon.  that day my dad lost everything he had worked very, very hard for, for 15 years (approximately).  the day i passed out in the bathroom and required emergency surgery for a ruptured cyst - a week before graduation and without any health insurance; i carry that scar from that health scare with me to this day.

that's probably one of the most important things i've learned about life.  you never know what someone else is going through.  they could be having the worst day of their lives.  they could be working 3 jobs to make sure their children are fed.  or they could be deadbeat dads/moms.  who knows?  most people i come into contact with daily are complete strangers.  who am i to judge them?

do not judge what you do not know.  that's my golden rule.  it allows me to be kind to strangers regardless of how they look or speak or act.  and i believe in the power of karma.  i only want positivity in my life, therefore i try to put positivity out into the universe.  i'm not saying that i don't have moments of negativity.  given the past year of my life, i've definitely had moments where it was hard to remain positive, but it does me no good to be negative.  it makes me feel worse, in fact.  in my opinion, passing judgment is as bad as bullying.

so where is the harm in not passing judgment on others?  doesn't it make more sense to remain open-minded and kind?  i think so.  i would rather be remembered for being shy and reserved, than for being a bully or judge-r.  but that's just me.

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