Friday, December 7, 2012

the truth.

Write drunk; edit sober.
-Ernest Hemingway

i've considered myself a writer since i was about 12 years old.  english classes always came easily to me, because i love to read, and as we started writing poetry and short stories, i found that i quite enjoyed putting words to paper.   i've kept numerous journals over the years, and even taken to writing lines on napkins, post-its, the margins of my class name it.  

i started this blog not only to share my life with my family when i was living across the country, thousands of miles away from home, but also to keep practicing my craft.  i'm by no means as great of a writer as jane austen, ernest hemingway, or even stephanie meyer, but this little blog has been my child for five years now.  i've written about love, heartache, family vacations, birthday celebrations, etc. and i've been (mostly) proud of every post.

i think there comes a time in every blogger's journey, when they start to wonder, how much is too much?  i've seen several of my favorite blogger's come to that crossroad numerous times.  i know this isn't the first time i've wondered what the purpose of my blog is.  why do i write here?  what am i trying to get out of it?

and lately i've been suffering from writer's block.  not just here on my blog, but with my schoolwork too.  my motivation levels have been at an all time low.  my focus has been shaky all semester, but lately, with the holidays around the corner, and after finally getting some time to relax (with cheer being over), i just can't keep my attention on my studies, on writing, on anything really.  i mostly want to veg out in front of the tv, watching christmas movies, or catching up on my fave shows.

maybe it's that i haven't worked out in a long while.  i can feel my body changing, getting softer, and it's a little bit depressing.  maybe it's that i haven't had a fun night out in a long while either.  i've been wanting to go dancing, get those endorphins flowing, but every one is so busy that i never have anyone to go with. 

whatever it is, i want to get over it already.  maybe i'll take a little bit of hemingway's advice tonight and have some wine with dinner.  and tomorrow morning, maybe i'll go for a walk/jog.  i'll clean my room and sit at my desk with my journal and just write everything that's been on my mind lately.  and maybe those creative juices will start to flow freely again, and i'll feel more like myself, and i will finally be able to focus on my finals.

No comments: