Friday, October 12, 2012

begin again.

trust is something that is taken for granted too often, i think.  it's when we are reeling from the loss of something we truly believed in that we become guarded.  the fear of another broken heart haunts me.  i spend half of my time trying to remind myself that not all men were created equal.  some are simply better than others. 

it would be easy for me to become a cynic.  he broke my heart not once, but twice.  but i've always believed that life is about love.  i'm not going to let one boy's mistakes keep me from a life of true happiness, because not only would that be unfair to me, but also to every woman who has been wronged.

if i want to be honest with myself, there's still that part of me that worries.  how soon is too soon?  how fast is too fast?  how will i know?  i worry that i won't know anything as passionate as what he and i had.  that i won't love that hard.  and i worry that no one will love me that way.

i remember thinking in the days after that i was never going to fall in love again, that i'd never find anyone who could put up with me...that i wasn't loveable. and maybe at first i didn't want to fall in love again.  who would want to put themselves in the position to feel that kind of hurt again?  because it's only fair.  because there's a man out there who deserves my trust and love and will work incredibly hard for it because he wants to.  because i have to put my faith in something, and why not put it in love?

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