little love letters.

dear squish-face,

i miss you, caveman.

we're both feeling a little sicky right now, and it doesn't help that we're on opposite sides of the world, with no means of taking care of each other.  it's not fair, not fair at all.  you, of all people (plus my mom), know how pitiful i am when i'm sick.  i need you here to force-feed me meds and water.  and you need to eat better, and who better to cook yummy, deliciously healthy food for you, than me!?

it's getting SO close to your arrival back home, though, and i get all giddy just thinking about it.  just yesterday, i was brushing my teeth and washing my face before bedtime and i started smiling so hard because i realized you'll be home in a couple of weeks!!  it seems like a long time, but at the same time, it's not!  i have so much to do between now and then, i'm sure it'll fly by.  and then you'll be back, and i'll be bugging you take me on our date for beignets, hot cocoa and christmas lights.  hahaha.

really, though.  this is the time of year everyone wants to be with the ones they love.  i am so glad that next year when we put up our christmas decorations, and all the years after that, you'll be home and i won't have to do it alone.  i know we haven't exactly made plans as far as where we're gonna live, since neither of us knows what school we'll be going to, but i just know that i want to be wherever you are.

which is a scary thought.

i can't believe we've come this far in our relationship.  how did we go from two 17 year old kids, holding hands at the playground, to two 24 year old adults, dreaming of college degrees, careers, buying land and cars and all of those grown up things???  i still think about the times we spent driving around in the mustang, going to prom, out on dates, especially the very first one, when you were too nervous to give me a good night kiss, and being so scared when it got closer to my departure from san antonio, knowing full-well making it work would be next to impossible.

when you called me that fateful march day, having just been reintroduced to technology and freetime, did you really think we would be here?  were you as in love with me then, as i have always been with you?  when you found out i had a boyfriend, did you think that was it?  or were you willing to fight for me?  and the very first time you mentioned marriage, did you even think about the words coming out of your mouth?  or did it just come straight from your heart?  no thought about it?

i may never know the answers to these questions, but i do know you love me.  and i do know if you were here, you'd be more concerned about my health than yours.  i may not NEED to depend on you, but i'm so very, very happy that i can.  and i do.

so hurry the heck up and come home!!

love you.