Wednesday, May 26, 2010

this love is difficult...

but it's real.
"love story", taylor swift

i never thought, 6 years ago, that i'd be following my heart instead of my head.  i never dreamed you'd fall into my life, only to have me fall in helpless, hopeless love with you.

i am not afraid. i know that all that has happened between us, happened for a reason. there aren't many things i believe in that i can't explain, but of the few there are, our love is one. our love has led me to believe in soulmates, because that is the only way i can describe our relationship.

had i known when we had our first kiss that my heart would forever be magnetized to yours, i would've wished for it sooner.  your lips were the south, and mine were the north.  and in that moment of our first kiss, i knew.  it wasn't a sloppy kiss between two kids.  it wasn't going too far, too fast.  no, it was perfect, sweet and a little hesitant.  much like our relationship.

see, i've never regretted what happened between us, and i've never hated you for it.  i love you with my whole heart and i always have.  i think even before we met, my heart was already yours.  and yes the time we were apart was hard and things happened that i wish i could take back (the few regrets in my life), but we had to grow apart to grow up and i think it was the best for both of us.  we wouldn't be who we are today if you hadn't made the phone call that broke my heart.

it's only fitting that the only boy who could put the pieces back together was the same one who shattered them.  i think you knew all along, too.  if not, you might not have ever said what you said that night.  and i will always remember that conversation happily, because of who it made me.

yes, i was broken.  but i was also living a life i had dreamed of.  a life i knew would make myself, my family, and one day, you, proud.

moving in with you was the easiest thing i've done.  i can't imagine not living with you, not being able to wake up next to you, or fall asleep to the sound of your voice.  i had no qualms about what our families might think, what my crazy grandmother might say.  because it was right, it was the next step in my life, and the only thing i knew i wanted to do after graduation.

we're not just in love, we're not just best friends, we literally complete each other. i feel like you are my other half. i don't care what it is i'm doing, i always want you to be there with me, even when i don't realize it. i never feel like i need a break from you, despite the fact that we spend 99% of our free time together.

and when we are apart, i constantly think about you. "would he like this movie? would he think that joke is funny? will he like this dress?" you joke that i'm obsessed with you and if that's what this is, then i hope you're obsessed with me too.

our life has been incredibly private, and i love that.  i don't feel the need to discuss every detail of our relationship with others, and i know you feel the same way.  i get annoyed when people ask what we're doing, what direction we're moving in.  why do they need to know?  we're together now, and to me, that's all that matters.

so hurry up and come home, my sailor man.  because i miss you tons, and i just want to spend future saturdays waking you up earlier than you want me to, and watching you play cod all day (or you could, y'know, date me if you want). 

besos, boo.

No comments: